# Write hooks and on-screen text

Use this when you write the on-screen hook, the spoken opening, a burned title, or captions for a clip. The hook is the text on screen in the first seconds. Its job is to make a stranger stay for the first spoken words.

All examples on this page are invented for the *Better Questions* show and its fictional guest, sleep researcher Dr. Lena Park. They teach the form and are not health advice.

## Say the thing

Put the best fact, the strongest line, or a result the viewer wants on screen. Do not describe the video or narrate the guest.

| Narrates | Says the thing |
| --- | --- |
| "How she reads her sleep score" | "Your sleep score is a guess" |
| "A sleep researcher on naps" | "I nap 20 minutes, never 40" |
| "What she asks her patients" | "Ask how you feel before you check" |

Use the speaker's first person, "you", or a bare claim. Do not depend on the guest's name. A stranger does not know who the guest is.

## Shape the words

- Use 3 to 8 words in one clause. Prefer one line. Use two lines at most.
- When the text does not fit, rewrite it. Do not make the type smaller.
- Give the viewer one thing to picture: a number, an amount of money, a role, or an object. Avoid process words such as "routine", "system", "workflow", or "steps".
- Choose a broad stake over a narrow feature. Choose a positive result over a negation. Choose a side over a summary.
- Promise the method. Do not give it away. "How to fall asleep in a loud city" makes a viewer watch. "Use white noise at 50 percent" answers the question on screen.
- Make the claim true by choice. If the claim needs "can", "may", or "might" to stay true, pick a different claim.
- Use sentence case, one or two emphasis words, short number forms such as "$2M" and "4 hours", and no emojis.
- Use one want for each clip. Put it in the first three words of the hook and in the first spoken line.

## Pick an opening method

Write several hooks for each clip, each on a different method. Then gate, score, and rank them.

| Method | Invented example |
| --- | --- |
| Point at an object | "This number on your watch is wrong" |
| Stated contrast | "8 hours in bed, 5 hours asleep" |
| Implied contrast | "I stopped tracking my sleep" |
| Two numbers | "40 minutes ruins a 20 minute nap" |
| Result first | "I fixed my sleep in two weeks" |
| Start a clock | "Do this in the first 10 minutes awake" |
| Scene | "3 a.m. and wide awake again" |
| Borrowed frame | "The sleep advice your doctor skips" |
| Confession | "I ignored my own sleep advice" |

Each example above is only valid when the clip supports it. A hook that the clip does not support fails, however good it reads.

## Hook gates

Drop a hook when any of these is true:

- It opens with an instruction such as "Learn", "Discover", or "Find out".
- It promises a result the clip never gives.
- The hook and the first spoken line are about different subjects.
- It invents a name, number, count, or result. A faithful plain paraphrase of what the speaker said is not an invention.
- It reverses the speaker's meaning.
- It promises a list the clip does not give.
- Its main subject is "this", "it", or "they" with nothing to point to.
- A stranger must read it twice to understand it.

## Hook quality checks

Score the hooks that pass. Useful checks:

- The subject comes first.
- It states a fact, tension, or result. It does not describe the video.
- The first spoken line adds to the hook. It does not repeat it.
- It opens a question the clip answers. The viewer knows enough to care about the missing answer.
- It names a person, object, number, place, or action.
- It uses words the viewer uses.
- A stranger understands it in one silent read.
- A concrete verb carries the claim.
- It would not fit an unrelated clip.

Rank the hooks against each other after you score them. By default, give each hook a final value that is half its score and half its rank. The writer may move the clip start to a better line when the meaning holds.

## The spoken opening

- Open on a concrete claim, a result, a number, a question, or a story beat.
- Name the subject and the stake within about 4 seconds.
- Keep the first sentence to 16 words or fewer.
- Do not open on a weak first word, such as "So", "And", "Yeah", "Um", or an unexplained "it".
- You may move one payoff line of 6 seconds or less to the front when the meaning stays the same. List both source ranges in the brief.

## Burned titles and captions

- For a wide clip, show a burned title at the bottom centre during the first sentence, for about 3 to 5 seconds.
- A clip needs a 9:16 version with its own hook text only when routed to vertical.
- Show one caption word at a time. Pair two words only when one is a short function word such as "a", "to", or "of". Do not pair words across a pause.
- Keep the captions on one fixed line position so the eye does not hunt.
- Captions show the speech exactly. Only the hook may paraphrase.

## Post copy

Write the post caption the way a friend would describe the video. Use one call to action.